Oh, it went no where by the way.

Here's to 2010 seeing more entries.

I feel the need to update this.

Not that anyone reads this anyway.

Maybe I should do something more productive with this space. This fall, a few friends and I were suppose to embark on this little blog project. While right now its future is still in question, I guess the pessimist in me is assuming the worst. Just in case in does go through however, I don't want to spoil what it is (though some people have already been informed).

But assuming it doesn't go anywhere but in our heads, I might as well practice here. Even if there are more... suitable outlets to practice, we'll see how unlazy I get.

Maybe.

1 am scribbles.

just give me a sec,
in between the time it takes to walk up the hall,
and get to where we need to go.
just slow down your pace,
maybe to a crawl,
but that's all i'm asking for right now.
just give me a sec.

i think i hear her crying again.
from where i sit,
in between the sounds of keys being hit rapidly,
in sequence but when it gets slowed down a bit,
just a bit, enough to be reminded of what surrounds me.
hollow halls connect lives.
and i'm connected right now.
i think i hear her crying again.

i'm not sure why.
upon my genuine questions of concern,
or possibly interest,
she's not too interested in telling me.
all that she wants me to see is that she is fine.
please unwind that facade of yours.
the mask looks too warm for you,
judging by the warmness coming from you.
forced smiles don't necessarily hide honest tears.
honestly.
i'm not sure why.

Sitting in front of CCT1080.

It's that time of year again. We're in the second week of December, and it's quite obvious what's on everyone's minds. Just walking through the library, the commons areas, just in UTM in general, you can see the focus in people.

...I think. Hey look, it's exam period. While I should join my fellow university brethren in burying oneself in a pile of books, I rather do what I do in this time best. My dear friend procrastination is in town, and I rather sit down with them.

Today, instead of working on an essay due two days from now, I rather check out my blog. This blog in fact (and finally doing something with my twitter - http://twitter.com/yourstrulyjaren). Whenever any of my friends discuss their blogging escapades I remember that I have one, always making the mental note that I'll finally start updating mine when I have time.

While I don't have time right now per say, I do have time to waste. 

And here it is.

Welcome Death sucked. Wow reading that over was awkward. 

'Welcome Death' Freestyle

"And what if i woke up one morning and i was gone,
no longer a slave to the daily dance and song,
but away from the drain of life that causes of much pain.
for while you need insanity to compare to the sane,
it takes nothing more than a cut to the vein to separate the two.
yet who are you to pass judgment on that light,
forget the demons one may have to fight,
because they're all around us at any given moment.
be those not angels nor men,
but figments that blend together,
oh help me shatter what we endeavour the picture in which what we call forever. "

For a while now, I've thought of writing a piece called 'Welcome Death', or something along those lines. While those who know me know I'm far from that phase of ridden teenage angst, the title itself is one that I've come to like, and have wondered what I should tie to it.

My typical writing process is that I think (or even grab) a line and go from there. Usually I have its content/feel in mind, but I tend to branch off that single line (side thought: am I sounding pretentious yet) and that line itself is sure to appear in the piece somewhere.

'Welcome Death' is sort of different. It's not a line, but a title. A cheesiness title at that. Sure, I could incorporate it within, but I'd have to feel that I'd be able to cover up its cheese factor, something that sounds rather difficult when simply thinking of the words 'Welcome Death' together.

With that, it's no wonder I haven't really written anything in regards to it. To be honest, seeing that I haven't updated this blog at all in the couple of months its been active, I thought now would be a perfect time to play around with 'Welcome Death'.

As a random story, I use to freestyle as a kid, back before I even knew making up rap lines on the spot had an actual name. While I don't "rap" anymore, I still like to see if I'm able to just keep going with something, branching off lines from the top of my head.

It ends where I became distracted. I tried to continue, but like most of my poetry runs, I wasn't able to catch a second breath. Oh well. I do admit that sounds really emo/angst ridden and especially has an incredible cheese factor, but I really do like the last line. I may continue with it, or use it for something else.